Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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