can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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