i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
