I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
