i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
