She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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