based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
