he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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