My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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