Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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