I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
