Jerry, you need to find god
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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