i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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