That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
