the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
