i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
