last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
