He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
