yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
