I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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