Soap is not a condiment
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
A bitchslap is in order.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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