We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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