put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
