i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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