i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize