hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
