He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
