party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
