His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
