You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Did I show you my penis last night?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize