just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
