I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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