why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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