I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I forget how to act sober
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