Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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