I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I will be naked everywhere
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
