seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
