remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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