She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize
