Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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