if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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