it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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