Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
