Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
