Your dad touched me again.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
