At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize