Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
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