I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
