Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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