I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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