my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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