Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
