What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
did i just pee glitter
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
