can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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