And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
