thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
