whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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