I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
