I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so let's talk penis.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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